Sep 23 2009
Captain Catharsis and the Floppy Disk of Destiny
“In the middle of the day, when you drive home to your place from that job that makes you sleep back to the thoughts that keep you awake long after night has come to claim any light that still remains in the corner of the frame that you put around her face.” -Conner Oberst
I went to work as usual and for some reason I was more depressed about it than ever. It’s as though with each day they have me, they also take a bit of my soul with them. When I left for work the sky was a bit cloudy, but it steadily grew gray the more I was at work. I think I finally figured out how managers run things where I work: Fear. When I was hired, my manager threatened that if I did anything wrong my friend, Pat, would be fired. This is supposed to make me work hard and keep my nose clean. Mind you, everyone under the sun that isn’t my boss has been training me and my boss is hardly ever around. I found out recently that my boss spends 90% of the time in a back room watching us work on cameras and the other 10% of the time I actually see him, he is usually chatting up everyone that isn’t me on sports. I try talking to everyone at work to make it more enjoyable, but nobody seems to want to talk.
I got paid today, but found no joy in it. The pay was excellent actually and at the same time I feel as though my personal being is wasted at this place. Leaving work felt like I lost something, which is odd for when half of the time I don’t feel much of anything. After work I did something I haven’t done in several years: I went to church and prayed. This is not something I ever consider doing, but for some reason it came to mind today. Perhaps it was that I was tired of driving, but I needed to talk about what was bothering me. I felt mildly better. Only talking to my friend Pat tonight solved a lot for me. We talked about work and our mutual disdain for it. He and I also deduced a devious plan, which is kind of cocky, but is an enjoyable hypothetical possibility. Aside from planning how to make the most disastrous way to leave work, we also conceived a way to get our managers in trouble. It sounds absolutely brilliant so far.
